Mechanical Bastard [OSR Class]

Aaron Goddamn Stack!

I honestly can't tell you if I wrote this class as a joke or not. That's not an unusual situation for me. I'm not sure if I'll ever use it in my game, but I'm pretty happy with it as a weird alternative to the Warforged. The Mechanical Bastard mixes little Bender with a whole lot of Aaron Stack, and of course some Gonzo the Mechanical Bastard.

MECHANICAL BASTARD

The Once Begotten of the Machine God are referred to as “Mechanical Bastards” by almost everyone else in Wyrld. These alien creatures are native to some strange otherworld full of machine life. They are mechanical beings possessing a living, alien soul. Mechanical Bastards resemble humans until they use one of their abilities or are wounded. When damaged, they bleed oil and show exposed gears, springs, and alien circuitry. The Mechanical Bastard is human-sized and shaped, and can use normal armor and weapons. Certain upgrades will allow it to permanently integrate armor and weapons into its system. Not all Mechanical Bastards assume gender roles, but many do so in order to blend in with humans. Mechanical Bastards speak Common, their own language (Cyberchat), and their alignment tongue.

At level nine, the Mechanical Bastard can construct a factorium. This complex will attract 1d4 low-level (level 1-3) Mechanical Bastards to his service, as well 6d6 0-level humans fascinated by robots.

Requirements: INT 9, CON 9

A high-CHA Mechanical Bastardess

Prime Req: CON
Fights As: Fighter
Saves As: Fighter
Weapons: Any
Armour/Shields: Any
Hit Die: d8* (+3 HP per level after level 9)
*assumes fighters have d8 Hit Dice

A Mechanical Bastard is a Living Construct.

This has a number of benefits and drawbacks...
* Immune to poisons and disease.
* Need not eat, drink, or breathe.

* Still affected by sleep, charm, and energy drains.
* Doesn't actually "sleep" but requires four hours of downtime each day to defrag itself.

* Affected by Heat/Chill Metal and suffers double damage from the spell.
* Cannot benefit from Cure X Wounds spells, nor damaged by the reversed versions.
* Mending heals 1d4 damage per 2 caster levels (max 5d4)
* Suffers 2d6 damage from successful Rust Monster attacks.
* Cannot be Raised or Resurrected, but can be Reincarnated. (Welcome to organic life, Sparky!)
* A Mechanical Bastard falls “unconscious” at 0HP. It is killed when brought to negative HP equal to its Constitution score. While unconscious it cannot eat coins to heal. If it is not brought to positive Hit Points through Mending within 24 hours, its automatic reboot systems will kick in. The Mechanical Bastard will wake up with 1 HP. When it reboots, the Mechanical Bastard will need to re-roll all its upgrades. It will lose any integrated weapons or armor if it no longer possesses the proper upgrades.

* Does not heal normally or naturally and is too complex to be repaired by mortal smiths or engineers.

A Mechanical Bastard heals itself by eating minted coins.

1 gold piece heals 1 hit point.
1 platinum piece heals 2 hit point.
It takes 1 round to eat 1 coin.
The Mechanical Bastard cannot eat more coins per day than its Constitution score.

A Mechanical bastard develops random upgrades as it gains levels.

*At level 2 and 4, the player rolls 1d6 to see what power the Mechanical Bastard gets. Re-roll any duplicates.

1) Integrate Armor

Gonzo the Mechanical Bastard

Permanently absorb mundane a suit of armor and assume its AC. Only half of an integrated suit of armor’s weight is counted towards encumbrance. This does not change the Mechanical Bastard’s appearance. The armor cannot be “un-integrated” and effectively destroys the armor. Integration takes 1 turn, and a newly-integrated armor replaces an old one. Shields cannot be integrated.

2) Integrate Weapon
Permanently absorb a mundane, one-handed weapon, which it can retract and extend at will An integrated weapon is not counted towards encumbrance. This does not change the Mechanical Bastard’s appearance. The weapon cannot be “un-integrated” and effectively destroys the weapon. Integration takes 1 turn, and a newly-integrated weapon replaces an old one.

3) Night Vision Eyes
Infravision 60’. Works however Infravision works in your campaign.

4) Static Zapper
Can make ranged attacks with non-magical electricity from its hands. Has a range of 10/20/30. Does 1d6 damage. Usable a number of times per day equal to the character’s Constitution score.

5) Bending Unit
+2 to Open Doors and similar rolls.

6) Scanners
Can find secret doors like an elf.


*At level 6 and 8, the player rolls 1d6 to see what power you the Mechanical Bastard gets. Re-roll any duplicates. 

1) Integrate Magical Armor
As above, but also works with with magical armor. If the Mechanical bastard already has the mundane version, replace it with a newly-rolled upgrade.

2) Integrate Magical Weapon
As above, but also works with magical weapons. If the Mechanical Bastard also has the mundane version, it can now integrate two weapons--one mundane, one magical.

3) Extendo-Arms
Can stretch its arms to reach and manipulate objects 30’ away. The character can now attack from the second rank, with “non-reach” weapons. The arms are not effective in combat at further length.

4) Laser Eyes
Can make ranged attacks with a magical heat ray from its eyes. Has a range of 30/60/90. +1 to hit. Does 2d4+1 damage. Usable a number of times per day equal to half the character’s Constitution score.

5) Overclocked
The Mechanical Bastard’s base movement is increased by 10’.

6) Mecha-Morph
The Mechanical Bastard can cast Alter Self on itself once per day.

Experience	Level	Hit Dice	Title
0	1	1d8	Cog
3,000	2	2d8	Droidling
6,000	3	3d8	Automaton
12,000	4	4d8	Droid
24,000	5	5d8	Robot
48,000	6	6d8	Robodroid
96,000	7	7d8	Mechadroid
200,000	8	8d8	Android
400,000	9	9d8	Megadroid
800,000	10	9d8+3*	Super Megadroid

*CON modifiers no longer apply