Millennium Tortoises

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The seaside village of Siltmere is famous for two things. One is the high-quality paper products made from native silt-reeds. The other is the millennium tortoises.

Millennium tortoises are large terrapins with kindly eyes and long white beards. The tortoises are given free rein in Siltmere, allowed to roam wherever they wish. Injuring a tortoise is a grievous crime, punishable by an overnight stay in the eel pits. At any given time, 50-100 millennium tortoises can be found wandering the flowered and sandy streets of Siltmere.

Residents of Siltmere use exotic inks to write poetry on the shells of living millennium tortoises, believing that it brings good luck. This has also become a popular tourist activity. The tortoises don’t seem to mind.

Millennium Tortoise (DCC stats)

AC: 16; HD: 3d6 (10hp)
Init: -2; Action Die: 1d20; Attacks: bite, +3 melee (1 damage)
Saves: Ref +0, Fort +3, Will +6
Move: 10'; Alignment: L

• A character that takes at least 30 minutes to write poetry on the shell of a millennium tortoise gains 1d4 Luck. A character can only benefit from this blessing once in their life.
• Millennium tortoises are beloved by the gods. A character loses 1 Luck each time they attack a millennium tortoise, whether they hit or not. 

30 to 50 Feral Hogs (for DCC)

A Swarm of 30-50 Feral Hogs

Init: +1; AC: 10; HD: 10d8 (40hp)
Act: 4d20; MV: 30’; AL: C
Attack: Hog-Gobble +6 melee (1d8)
Saves: Fort: +6; Ref: +2; Wil: +5

Specials
Swarm: A mass of 30-50 feral hogs covers a 30’x30’ area and acts as one large creature. The swarm can move through and occupy the same space as other creatures without penalty. Creatures caught up within the swarm move at half speed. Each action die allows the swarm to attack every creature caught within the swarm’s area (make one roll and compare it to each individual’s AC).

Wee wee wee...: As the swarm takes damage, individual hogs die and its effectiveness is reduced. For every 10 points of damage the swarm suffers, it loses 1 Action Die.

• 31-40hp = 4d10
• 21-30hp = 3d10
• 11-20hp = 2d20
• 0-10hp = 1d20

Child Eater: A child reduced to 0hp by a feral hog attack is immediately devoured. The swarm is invigorated, regaining 1d6hp. Additionally, on the next round, all the swarm’s Action Dice are increased to d24s.


2^nd Amendment Solutions: As everyone knows, a swarm of 30-50 feral hogs is especially susceptible to gunfire. The swarm takes double damage from firearms. For the sake of your children, I can only pray your campaign has guns.

The Crovoborge

This guy will show up in my game the next time my players travel to the Ghoul Market. 

The Crovoborge guards one of the several tunnels that lead to the Ghoul Market. He is a man-sized, but short, with a head like the skull of a crow. He wears black-lacquered scale mail and a plumed helm and carries a halberd that flickers with purple witch-light. The Crovoborge does not talk, but the two scarab beetles that live in his skull speak for him. Tom lives in his left eye socket and has a voice like Eddie Deezen. Danny lives in his right eye socket and has a voice like Clancy Brown. Both carry their own tiny little halberds.

• AC: 16 (mail); HD: 5 (26hp); Morale: 10; Movement: 120’, AL: N
• Flickering Halberd: +5 (1d10 damage, plus take 1d6 each round until a save vs. magic is made. Wound drips small purple snails.)
• Tom the beetle can see invisible creatures.
• Danny the beetle can cast Magic Missile (as a 3^rd level MU), 3 times a day.

The Crovoborge demands 25 thalers from any person who wishes to pass by his gate. He collects these coins in a battered tin pot and sends half of them every month to his mistress in Hamburg.

The Black Katana (Silent Legions)

The Black Katana is an eldritch artifact for Silent Legions. 

The Black Katana (also known as Hatsunetsu Yume, Fever Dream, or Thought Breaker) is an ancient sword made in the Japanese style. Its black metal blade incredibly sharp and never needs honing. Its hilt and guard are made of an unknown organic substance resembling yellow bone or coral. According to legend the sword was forged from the fang or claw of a demon by a traitorous samurai, who used it to kill his daimyo. The sword carves the mind as well as flesh. People wounded by the Black Katana are wracked by nightmarish visions of alien hellscapes from beyond the quicksilver grid of Reality. But the sword is also dangerous to its user. The wielder of the Black Katana will experience the dying thoughts of anyone they slay.

The Black Katana is currently in the possession of the Blood Message of the Shadowed Brotherhood in Yakima, WA. It is wielded by Ajax, the half-ghoul Cursed Warrior, who is immune to the madness the sword inflicts.

Black Katana primitive weapon (Dex or Str)

Damage: 1d8+2              Slaughter: 1d10

• The sword proves a +2 to attack and damage rolls.
• A person damaged by the sword also takes 1d6 Madness (no Madness cap).
• If the sword is used to kill a terrestrial creature, the wielder takes 1d8 Madness (no Madness cap).
• The Black Katana is a magical weapon and can damage and slaughter eldritch creatures.
• If the blade is drawn and doesn't kill a sapient creature, before they resheath the sword, the wielder must make a Save vs Magic. If they fail the save, they must attack the nearest visible person, turning the sword on themselves if they are alone. 

Ajax (Half-Ghoul, Cursed Warrior asset)

AC: 14 ascending (tactical armor)

HD: 6 (30 hp)

Move: 40'

Skill: +2

Save: 13+

Morale: 9

Attacks

• Claws x2: +3 to hit, 1d4 damage, 1d6 slaughter
• AK-47: +4 to hit, 1d12 damage, 1d8 slaughter
• Black Katana: +5 to hit, 1d8+2 damage +1d6 Madness, 1d10 slaughter

Special: Regenerates 1d3 hp per round while not in sunlight. Cannot regen fire damage.

Gray Philosopher for 5th Edition

One of my favorite monsters from Cyclopedia-era D&D Creature Catalog is the Gray Philosopher. I never got a chance to use it back in the day, but I had an opportunity to include one in my recent 5th Edition game. It was pretty fun to adapt to the new edition. 

A gray philosopher is the undead spirit of an evil cleric who died with some important philosophical deliberation yet unresolved in his or her mind. In its undead state, this creature does nothing but ponder these weighty matters.

The gray philosopher appears as a seated, smoke-colored, insubstantial figure swathed in robes. It always seems deep in thought. Flying through the air surrounding the philosopher are a number of tiny, luminous, wispy creatures known as malices. They have vaguely human faces, gaping maws, and spindly, clawed hands. These vindictive creatures are actually the philosopher’s evil thoughts, which have taken on substance and a will of their own.

The gray philosopher cannot be turned by a cleric but has no attack of its own; it will not defend itself. Unlike the philosopher, malices constantly search for victims on which to vent their petty but eternal spite. Malices do not stray more than 120 feet from their philosopher but may pass through the narrowest of openings in their ceaseless flight. A malice normally attacks until destroyed or turned. However, all these creatures vanish instantly if their philosopher is destroyed.

Gray Philosopher

Medium Undead, Neutral Evil

AC: 13 (Natural Armor)

HP: 156 (24d8+48)

Speed: 0’

STR: 8 (-1), DEX: 10 (+0), CON: 14 (+2), INT: 18 (+4), WIS: 20 (+5), CHA: 16 (+3)

Saves: Wisdom +7

Skills: Insight +7

Damage Immunities: Cold; Necrotic; Poison; Bludgeoning, Piercing, And Slashing from nonmagical weapons.

Condition Immunities: Charmed, Exhaustion, Grappled, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone, Restrained

Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception: 15

Languages: Understands all languages it knew in life, but does not speak

Challenge: 4 (1,100 xp)

Ethereal Sight: The Gray Philosopher can see 120 ft. into the Ethereal Plane when it is on The Material Plane, and vice versa.

Death Epiphany: When the Gray Philosopher falls to 0hp, it looks up with an expression of malicious enlightenment on its face, then vanishes with a lingering shriek of evil delight. All creatures within 60’ who hear this horrifying sound must make a DC: 15 Wisdom save or take 6d8 psychic damage and become frightened until they finish a long rest. On a successful saving throw a creature only takes half damage and is not frightened.

Magic Resistance: The Gray Philosopher has advantage on saving throws against Spells and other magical effects.

Turn Immunity: The Gray Philosopher is immune to the Turn Undead ability.

ACTIONS

Spawn Malice: The Gray Philosopher creates 1d4 Malices for every Malice that was killed in the previous round. A malice appears in an empty space within 60’ of the Gray Philosopher and acts on its own initiative. When first encountered, a Gray Philosopher will be accompanied by 6d4 Malices.

Malice

Tiny Undead, Neutral Evil

AC: 13

HP: 14 (4d4+4)

Speed: Fly 60’

STR: 4 (-3), DEX: 16 (+3), CON: 12 (+1), INT: 10 (+0), WIS: 16 (+3), CHA: 14 (+2)

Saves: Dexterity +5, Wisdom +5

Skills: Perception +5

Damage Immunities: Cold; Necrotic; Poison; Bludgeoning, Piercing, And Slashing from nonmagical weapons.

Condition Immunities: Charmed, Exhaustion, Grappled, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone, Restrained

Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception: 15

Languages: Understands all languages the Gray Philosopher knew in life, but cannot speak

Challenge: ¼ (50xp)

Incorporeal Movement: The wraith can move through other creatures and Objects as if they were difficult terrain. It takes 5 (1d10) force damage if it ends its turn inside an object.

Turn Resistance: The lich has advantage on saving throws against any effect that turns Undead.

Actions

Bite: Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 3) necrotic damage. In addition, a neutral aligned creature bit by a Malice takes an additional 3 (1d6) psychic damage, while a good aligned creature takes an additional 7 (2d6) psychic damage.

Anthropic Manifestation of Shattered Time [QAGS and Hobomancer]

The Sneaky Snakes bound VLHRG the Time Wyrm in an attempt to rewrite history so their antediluvian empire never fell and the word remained under the thrall of those Valusian reptiles. 

Thankfully, a plucky band of Hobomancers gathered the Cosmic Tchotchkes and brought them to the Infinite Switchyard, where they were able to banish VLHRG back to the Outer Dark.

One of the final threats the Sneaky Snakes brought against the Hobomancers was the Anthropic Manifestation of Shattered Time.  This creature is appears as an eight-foot-tall, vaguely-simian energy form made of shards of light, like stained glass swirling around a liquid silver core.

Anthropic Manifestation of Shattered Time

Body: 16

Brain: 8

Nerve: 18

HP: 32

YY: 10

Job: Time killer (16)

Gimmick: Time made manifest (14)

Weakness: Weak against structural magic (12)

WWPHITM?: Undefinable.

Tagline: “Become unmade…”

Dumb Fact: He remembers you. You. The player. Everything about you.

Game Notes

•The Manifestation’s melee attacks have a Damage Bonus of +4. Targets of its attacks grow older or younger. If damage suffered by the target is an even number, it grows older. If brought to 0hp by even damage, the victim falls to ash and dust. If the damage suffered is an odd number, it grows younger. If brought to 0hp by odd damage, the target collapses into a pile of nonviable stem cells.

•The Anthropic Manifestation of Shattered Time has no solid form. Attacks from non-magical sources inflict only 1 point of damage on the Manifestation and cannot be increased with Yum Yums.

•As a “boss-monster” GMC, the creature’s “Time made manifest” Gimmick is broadly defined. It allows the Manifestation to manipulate time in weird and unpredictable ways. When used against another character, it can be resisted with Nerve or a magical-type job (Like “Hobomancer”). Example uses of the power include “Time Locking” a character to prevent them from acting until they can break free; forcing a creature to reroll a die or take a different action; or summoning temporal doppelgangers to help it in battle.

•As a magical creature of shattered reality, the Manifestation is weak against magic that builds, creates, or binds. When subjected to such magics, the Manifestation must make a Weakness roll. If the Weakness takes effect, it is not allowed to make any roll to resist the incoming spell.

David Pumpkins [D&D 5th Edition]

David Pumpkins is a capricious fey troublemaker, a servant of the Harvest King dedicated to bringing a bit of spooky levity to the mortal world. Typically, he and his skeletal minions choose group of mortal adventurers to follow around, appearing and disappearing at their whim to sow mischief and discord.

David S. Pumpkins

Medium Fey, Chaotic Neutral

“Any questions?”

AC: 17 (natural armor)

HP: 65 (10d8+20)

Speed: 30’

STR: 12 (+1), DEX: 14 (+2), CON: 14 (+2), INT: 10 (-), WIS: 14 (+2), CHA: 16 (+3)

Saves: Charisma +5

Skills: Insight +4, Performance +5

Damage Resistances: Bludgeoning, Slashing, Piercing from non-magical weapons

Condition Immunities: Charm, Frightened

Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception: 12

Languages: Common, Sylvan

Challenge: 2 (450xp)

Innate Spellcasting: David Pumpkins’ innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC: 13). He can cast the following spells, requiring no material components.

At Will: Invisibility, Prestidigitation

3/day: Hold Monster, Teleport

Magic Resistance. David Pumpkins has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

ACTIONS

Multiattack. David Pumpkins makes two Buttslap attacks.

Butt Slap. Melee weapon attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 feet, one target. Hit: 3 (1d4+1) bludgeoning damage. On a successful hit, the target must make a Charisma saving throw (DC: 13). On a failure the target begins to comically dance in place for 1 minute: shuffling, capering, and busting mad moves. A dancing creature must use all its movement to dance without leaving its space and has disadvantage on Dexterity saving throws and attack rolls. While the target is dancing, other creatures have advantage on attack rolls against it. As an action, a dancing creature makes a Wisdom saving throw to regain control of itself. On a successful save, the effect ends.

B-Boy Skeletons

Medium Undead, Neutral

AC: 13

HP: 26 (4d8+8)

Speed: 30’

STR: 10 (-), DEX: 16 (+3), CON: 14 (+2), INT: 10 (-), WIS: 10 (-), CHA: 14 (+2)

Skills: Performance +4

Damage Vulnerabilities: Bludgeoning

Damage Immunities: Poison

Condition Immunities: Frightened, Poisoned

Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception: 10

Languages: Common, Sylvan

Challenge: ⅛ (25 xp)

Innate Spellcasting: The B-Boy Skeleton’s innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC: 12). He can cast the following spells, requiring no material components.

At Will: Invisibility

3/day: Teleport

Turn Immunity. While within 30’ of David Pumpkins, the B-Boy Skeleton cannot be turned.

ACTIONS

Here we dance? The B-Boy Skeleton begins an eldritch dance accompanied by alien music. Any creature within 60’ that sees this dance must make a Wisdom saving throw (DC: 12). If the saving throw fails, affected creature falls into a state of deep confusion for 1 minute.

An affected target can’t take reactions and must roll a d10 at the start of each of its turns to determine its behavior for that turn.

• 1: The creature uses all its movement to move in a random direction. To determine the direction, roll a d8 and assign a direction to each die face. The creature doesn’t take an action this turn.
• 2-6: The creature doesn’t move or take actions this turn.
• 7-8: The creature uses its action to make a melee attack against a randomly determined creature within its reach. If there is no creature within its reach, the creature does nothing this turn.
• 9-10: The creature can act and move normally.

At the end of each of its turns, an affected target can make a Wisdom saving throw (DC: 12). If it succeeds, this effect ends for that target.

Hip Check. Melee weapon attack: +2 to hit, reach 5 feet, one target. Hit: 2 (1d4) bludgeoning damage.

Murder Orb [D&D 5th Edition]

"Boooooooooy..."

I loved the Phantasm movies back when I was a young punk. When Mind Flayers recently invaded my D&D campaign, I stole more than a few ideas.

Murder orbs are small constructs created by illithids and their alien science. These silvery metal orbs are made of a layered shell of mithril and adamantite around a core of humanoid brain matter and psionic circuitry.  Murder Orbs typically patrol the shadowy corridors of illithid lairs or act as bodyguards for individual mind flayers. A high-status illithid is often accompanied by two or more Murder Orbs, which are easily hidden within the monster’s voluminous robes.

When a Murder Orb detects a target, it extends two extremely sharp, jagged spikes from its center and flies directly into its victim, impaling them and attaching to flesh and bone. Once secured, the Murder Orb extends a high-powered auger from between the spikes and drills into its victim’s flesh, causing further damage.

Murder Orb

Tiny Construct, Lawful Evil

AC: 18 (natural armor + dexterity)

HP: 24 (8d4+8)

Speed: 60’ fly

STR: 4 (-3), DEX: 20 (+5), CON: 12 (+1), INT: 6 (-2), WIS: 16 (+3), CHA: 6 (-2)

Saves: Dexterity +7

Skills: Perception +5, Stealth +7

Damage Resistances: Bludgeoning, Slashing, Piercing from non-magical non-adamantine weapons

Damage Immunities: Cold, Lightning, Fire, Poison

Condition Immunities: Charm, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned

Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception: 15

Languages: Understands Deep Speech, cannot speak

Challenge: 2 (450xp)

ACTIONS

Spike. Melee weapon attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 feet, one target. Hit: 8 (1d6+5) piercing damage. On a successful hit, the Murder Orb attaches itself to its target. The Murder Orb’s movement drops to 0. The target or a nearby ally can use their action to try and remove the Murder Orb with a DC: 15 Strength check. The victim suffers 1d6 bludgeoning damage per removal attempt (successful or not). The Murder Orb can voluntarily detach from its victim as a Bonus Action (this causes no damage).

Drill. While attached to a target, the Murder Orb can use its action to drill into its victim’s flesh. This causes an automatic 2d6 piercing damage to the target.